


You have been found

by BananaInACage



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Author Projecting onto Connor Murphy, Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen) Has BPD, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Depressed Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Drug Use, Evan Hansen Has Anxiety, Gen, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Larry Murphy Tries (Dear Evan Hansen), Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24474121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaInACage/pseuds/BananaInACage
Summary: Connor Murphy had taken in account everything, he had found enough pills, a secluded place, no one should be looking for him, ... So why? Why did he wake up? Why wasn't he dead?(Au where Connor was found and they managed to save his life.)
Kudos: 22





	You have been found

**Author's Note:**

> I won't be writing any pairings with Connor since I don't want to romanticise mental illness. I will however leave it up to interpretation if Connor and Evan are just friends, or pre-relationship. Or if Connor ends up with Miguel (since Miguel did want a relationship with Connor in the book.) If in demand, I might write Zoe/Alana.  
> This story will include self-harm and drug use, if these subjects trigger you, please thread carefully.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor reached his ears. He, Connor Murphy, had survived his suicide attempt.

Tears of frustration began filling his eyes, why wasn't he dead? He had made precautions. He had made no plans that day, no one would've been looking for him. He should've had enough time to pass away before anyone found him. The park at the edge of the city was rarely visited, so how? How did he get saved? He took more pills than necessary to make sure he wouldn't wake up again yet here he was.

"I see you're awake, how are you feeling sweety?"

Connor followed the nurse moving around his room with tired eyes. At least he had woken up during the night, after visiting hours. He wouldn't have been able to handle his mother's emotional reactions. At least now he had a few hours to mentally prepare himself.

"You were lucky you were found when you were. Had you been brought in a few minutes later, you wouldn't have made it."

Lucky? Connor didn't feel lucky at all. He had wanted to die, he still wanted to die. He had read about how a lot of suicide-survivors were glad their attempt failed, but that wasn't how he felt. He still wanted to die. If only he'd taken those pills a few minutes earlier ...

"Here, have some water, you must be parched. I am going to get your doctor, I'll be right back."

Connor slowly brought the cup that he'd just been given to his lips. Trying to drink while lying down was awkward, but he managed. Feeling a bit more awake now, he glanced around. His hospital room was as basic as any other. Everything white, a tv hanging on the wall, a few chairs for visitors and that damned heart monitor that wouldn't shut up. The only out of the ordinary thing was the bag standing on the table near the window. Recognising the bag as one of his mother's, quickly made it clear that it was probably a bag filled with his stuff. So his mum had already visited him?

"Good evening Mr. Murphy, I am doctor Lee. It's good to see you awake, how are you feeling?"

The doctor that had entered the room seemed to be in his late thirties. His brown hair was combed back so none of it would fall into his eyes. The man had deep, dark bruises under his eyes indicating that his shift has been going on for far too long.

"Tired. My throat hurts."

"The ache in your throat will disappear in the next few days, we had to pump your stomach and that is what caused the irritation."

"When can I leave?"

Trying to speak hurt, but Connor didn't want to stay here any longer. He wanted to go be miserable on his own, in his room at home.

"The overdose did not seem to be accidental. Judging by the amount you took, we believe this was a suicide attempt. We also noticed a lot of self injury scars on your arms. Based on these signs we would like to do a mental evaluation. Preferably, we would like to keep you inpatient but this will have to be discussed with your parents."

Connor just closed his eyes in response. Of course this wouldn't be as easy as he thought. He didn't want to go inpatient, it wouldn't help him at all, he would just try to kill himself again as soon as they released him.

"I see you do not want to talk anymore so I will let you go back to sleep. If you need something, don't hesitate to alert a nurse. I'll be back tomorrow with our hospital's psychiatrist. She will conduct the mental evaluation and determine the best course of action."

When Connor didn't reply, the doctor excused himself before leaving the boy alone. Connor stared up at the ceiling, reality setting in. He had failed, and now there was no way they'd leave him alone. Either he was going inpatient, or his parents would keep him at home and check up on him every few minutes. Connor didn't know who saved him, but he hoped that karma will fuck over whoever it was.


End file.
